Geduld

It's been a long time since I wrote in here. I'm trying to remember why I started this blog in the first place. This year, I've been drudging along, living, existing, being, I'm not sure. Sometimes I think that truly living means not being complacent. That complacency is a state of mere existence. As an activist/advocate- complacency is considered an unadmirable trait, is interpreted as ignoring the sufferings of the world around you and passivity is looked down upon. Activism and advocacy is a constantly moving, being alert, acting and responding quickly, on your toes ready to jump kind of field. And these characteristics of the trade have of course grown on me, to my dismay. A life full of adrenaline. I don't know when to rest anymore, I just know that I desire it. I've grown rather impatient with other people's passivity, interpreting it as weakness, and I'm trying now, by writing it, to be aware that that isn't necessarily so. It's hard to self-reflect these days. And I am resentful of the little time I have for myself. “Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.” RM Rilke I forget how words can calm me, can inspire me. "Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them...Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer."